I believe this entry will be one of my most personal entry. In the previous 2 or more blog entries, or maybe you see somewhere around this
interesting boring and glooming site, I have mention about "her"! If you weren't
a fan to read my blog from the beginning till now.
You are losing out something BIG!!Since Deep Throat (not porn mind you) has been revealed, I shall reveal the mysterious
"her"! (sorry she don't have a blog that I know of)
Her name is Liping. (Hencefore in this entry, she will be known as lp or her ok? lazy to type out her name lah!)
It was July 1999 (if my memory doesn't fail me), I remember it was a 8am practical class (I was doing my 2nd year of my 3.5 years in
Ngee Ann Polytechnic.) so as I make my
all time favourite GRAND ENTRANCE entrance secretly as I was late. As a typical
hormone raging teenager, the first thing to look out for is
chio bu gers. But sadly, in a class full of
very successful future engineers, there wasn't much female invovlement! I saw this ger. erm.. It
wasn't love at first sight but she consider someone who is above average! Oh ya, she has very nice electrifying eyes. FYI, I am someone who will go "soft" (don't think too much har!!) for gers with nice nice eyes, it's the first thing I notice too.
For that semester, I think I have 2 modules same as her. Have I mentioned that I HATE morning class? anyway these 2 modules were my most dreaded modules! (if you still do not know what I am talking about,
you can just bang yourself into the wall the 2 modules were schedule in early morning!) So you can safely assume that I am always late for class, the weird part is actually I feel myself been
bio watched all the time!
Enough of the boring part, now for the
even more boring interesting part. That semester just comes to an end with lots of conversation exchange, both verbally and in
ICQ. Oh ya there still the alphanumeric paging, something like sms. It was nearing our exams when she start to have hiccups with her relationship with the then bf. erm.. cannot remember what's the issue about, anyway our conversation increase dramatically, as
her excuse was to have she need someone to listen to her sorrows. Been a super kind and helpful person, I offered generously on my listening power! *Good Listener I am*
As mentioned, exams are nearing, and also been a super kind and helpful + smart person (I know.. Please stop ,
praising puking), I kindly offer my service to coach her in her studies. I was rather worried about her, as everyone who have suffer from a bad relationship breakups tends to have sucidal tendercies. And she is someone who is very close to the edge, lucky with the help of a super kind and helpful + smart person, she manage to ride over that period. (I remember then, there was a lot of bad gossip about me. It's only I choose to be ignorant over it because I know myself more than you do, you
fucking stupid gossipers!)
Everyday, we will stay in school till late to do our revision. I remembered there was once late at night, I have to go inside the ladies, b'cause she was inside the toilet for more than half hour. What shocked me is that she was sitting on the bench and crying her heart out. In a hand was a snapped ring which she use to cut her wrist, but not deep enough to inflict any harm, just some minor scratches.
After that night she was even closer (not physically) to me. One night before our last paper, which is a killer Maths paper, she was crying badly again.
Re-enactment of that conversation. Cannot totally remember the exact details, but something like this.
Her:*sob sob* I don't want to study anymore. *sob sob*Me: *very soft concern voice* Why not? You already came so far. If you don't want to study what do you want to do? Don't be silly..Her:*sob* I don't want to study anymore. I wanna go oversea.Me: Then where you wanna go?Her: *sob* Dunnoe. Africa? Just somewhere away from this horrible place..Me: *Giggling* AFRICA? Why would you wanna go there? *Act cute voice* Wait the lion eat u up..(conversation dreads on a little on this topic, and my preparation is only 60% done and the time wee hours in the morning.)
Me: *irritated* Now stop been silly, go and study!Her: Why are you so mean to me?Her: *sobbing a little harder* k.. bye!(*Clicked* Line was cut off)
(Me decide to visit the toilet to
shit take a dump.)
(5 mins into my business, phone ring, I was still in the toilet. How to pick up the call right?)
(Followed by a few alphanumeric message in my pager.)
(Came out of toilet after 15 mins of pleasure! surprise to see the number of page. cannot remember the contents. something like
why am I ignoring her and been mean to her, so page her to call me. No handphone that time lah.)
*Ring Ring*
Her: *sobing very hard!* Can you stop treating me so good?Me: (Thoughts: Weirdo few minutes ago still said I mean!) *Ultra gentle voice* Why? What's wrong? I treat everyone the same..Her: *sobbing even harder* Can you stop treating me so good?Me: Why?Her: *Crying and mumbling* Can you stop treating me so good? 'cause I scare I fall in love with you.Me: Har?!?! (almost choked on my saliva!)Her: *trying to control sobbing* Can you stop treating me so good? 'cause I scare I fall in love with you.Me: erm.. I treat everyone the same. (no experience of this before) Don't be silly. Now go back to your studies.(another 10 mins of consoling her)
Her: Why are u avoiding my qns?Me: (kaoz.. the skill is not there yet.) erm.. your question I will give you an answer after the exams. now go n concentrate on your studies.After the exams we hang out quite often together, maybe because I need an activity partner and she need someone by her side.
A month later, after my probation of her, we finally got together! It was 30 Nov 1999.
We keep our relationship in a really low profile, all thanks to the
fucking tongue wagging community! Lucky I don't want to spoil this entry, if not I can
curse blog until the cows come home and not done with it!
Our relationship has a
lot of ups and downs, but most importantly we held our hands together to pass through those difficult hurdles. Some major hurdles can't really the others.
Hurdle 1: I enlist into NS when no one will be there for her.
Hurdle 2: She sign up for police training. No one there for me.
Hurdle 3: My Army detactment in Thailand.
Hurdle 4: My intentions of going
overseas for studies.During these times while I was with her, I finally notice how colourful the world is. They might be true about love make the world goes round. But there are always the downside of everything. Here are some major mistakes that I have done.
Mistake 1: Go clubbing and got to know other gers. (yes! I am a jerk!!) X 2(Twice the jerk I am. I regret my actions)
Mistake 2: Been tooooo close to her number one most hated enemy but one of my good friend.
Mistake 3: Smoke and drink too much!
I think there are lots n lots of other wrong doings done by me but it doesn't matter anymore.
On 7 Nov 2004 (3 days before my first paper in
Uni), she left me.
I was devasated! I couldn't concentrate on anything. The feeling of helplessness filled my heart totally! I tried to cry but no tears came out, I did not realise the importance of her till the day I flew over to Australia. The feeling of been far away was unbearable needless to said loneliness and to start everything from scratch!
I was in a state of denial! For the first time in my life, I wasn't smiling, I wasn't talking. I think if not for very encouraging friends, I would have just slipped into depression.
I couldn't wait to fly back home!
Flying back home is another chain of bad news one after another!(That's another story to talk about! But I will never bring up ever! too sad to be brought up.) Year 2004 was the worst year ever in my life!
I am now sicked and tired of all these self torture. I realise I am just too childish. Especially after reading this
blog! (If you people are still with me, please click on it and read it. STRONGLY RECOMMEND!!)
I have decided to let go of everything!! I shall once again return to my
buaya casanova self.
Today 3rd June is her Birthday! I hereby wish her a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And I want to thank her for all the selfless givings for me. She is a very special someone where she will always remembered by me.
Her Birthday gift is all replaced by this simple card with not much of contents.
My blog will go through some major reconstructions!
